


but the heart still yearned.

by Xernia



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M, Manipulation, Mentioned Eraqus, Pre-Canon, Pre-Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep, Xehanort-centric, kinda OOC, kinda shippy but kinda not, well the lead up to manipulation at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 12:09:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10639566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xernia/pseuds/Xernia
Summary: A look into Xehanort's heart at the beginning of his life as an apprentice.He can't appease his void of want, but he tries to find something to satisfy it nonetheless.I don't really know why, but I'm really interested in Xehanort and his relationship with Eraqus. I wrote this mostly just to get those feelings out. It ended up a bit ooc, but whatever.





	

Eraqus’ blade moved powerful, swift and sure. Just like his views on right and wrong, they flowed from him with confidence – absolutely no hesitation.

Eraqus had always seem to connect well with his keyblade, his master, his life as a student. Eraqus was a perfect student, with a life that perfectly suited him. He was much closer to the ideal than Xehanort knew he’d ever be. A perfect fake was still a fake, after all.

Initially Xehanort had relished his new life. A new world, new people, new experiences, new customs. His heart was one that always yearned, after all, so being able to see something beyond that island – that prison of sand – was initially very fulfilling.

But his heart never stopped wanting. Everything that had once been new grew routine; every feeling, smell, thought, sound; everything that once sparked something - anything - within him seemed to fade. Vividity into dullness. A place that once seemed dazzling would now appear before his eyes as tired, out-of-focus imagery.

Boring.

So his heart continued to yearn for more. Whatever he could find in his new prison would be fine. He’d make do as long as he could until his heart swallowed everything new into its void of want.

The Master was rigid in his ways. Xehanort quickly found all he could within him. The Master had set limits. He had already determined what he would and wouldn’t allow Xehanort to know or do. There was no changing it; no exceptions. Xehanort’s heart quickly swallowed everything new it could receive from his master.

But the heart still yearned.

So he turned to books. Whatever the Master didn’t necessarily teach to his students could be found in books. Xehanort had always been a smart boy. He could easily understand and interpret the texts he was allowed to study.

Books that went into details that the Master deemed unimportant enough to not teach, books about completely new topics entirely - Xehanort read them all. Xehanort flicked through pages constantly, head rested in his palm. It wasn’t that interesting, but it was still something.

His heart consumed it. A void that couldn’t be fed the same thing twice was quite troublesome indeed. So it was no surprise to Xehanort when he had taken all he could.

Time restrictions, restrictions in what knowledge was acceptable for an apprentice - It all got in the way. Eventually it was far more penalty than it was reward.

He was forced to abandon it - yet - the heart still yearned.

The void needed filling, and who was Xehanort to disobey?

So Xehanort continued to seek. He sought and sought and then…

_Eraqus._

He had saved himself the best until last.

Eraqus, Eraqus, Eraqus. Peer, comrade, ally.

People could indeed be interesting. Not those like the Master – all rigid and set in their ways – no, Eraqus was a boy; susceptible to instability, conflict, change, emotions.

His heart seemed to buzz at the thought.

They had only really interacted as peers. Respectful of each other, not intruding. But all the possibilities that could arise from pursuing friendship with him were simply incredible! Not to mention he’d have years and years, decades and decades at best; and oh, Xehanort couldn’t help but smile to himself.

It’d take a long time to fully unravel the package he’d been given; but he could be patient. He could wait. He’d cherish every layer, every inch – no matter how slowly they’d come to bare themselves before him. And if he did get a bit bored, he could always treat himself by breaking a few rules; reading something forbidden, travelling to other worlds without permission. It was no big deal.

A miracle book that could change its contents over time. That’s what it was.

A book with contents that could satisfy even a void for decades. No, even the promise of such content could keep the void at bay.

Xehanort would treasure Eraqus.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! Thank you for reading!
> 
> When I wrote this I ended up writing up a bit more than what I've put up here, but the tone of it gets pretty different so I ended up not including it here. I'm probably going to think about putting it on here as a separate work, but I'm not sure.
> 
> I'd appreciate any feedback or criticism. Thank you!


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